This came to me almost like a revelation.
I mean … obviously I must have heard it from my mentors in the course of life, but perhaps it finally hit home.
Loving someone because you hope they will eventually change doesn’t always work.
Gosh, even God loves us the way we are.
Romans 5:8 AMP But God clearly shows and proves His own love for us, by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Yes He hopes that we will conform into the image of His Son.
Romans 8:29 KJV For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
But there He is, arms wide open, looking out every day for the prodigal Son to return home.
Mayne, I love God. He loves me I wish I knew this truth about loving others, especially in relationships. I feel like I spent so much time trying to change the one I loved into someone who:
- COMMUNICATED
- thought more before acting
- was more faithful
- more stable
- knew what he wanted
- loved my church more than me (Hahaha)
- had MY dreams
- You know, someone who was ME.
It’s so exhausting trying to be someone though.
I definitely speak out of experience having once lived a bipolar life. I don’t mean that I was diagnosed with it like clinically but the way I was living, felt like I was two different people. At the end of the day feeling like no one really loved me because no one really knew me. Actually, the ones that knew me often left me.
Bow Out. Mali Music. The Transition of Mali.
Whoever you want me to be
Is out there somewhere
Whoever you’re trying to see
You can probably find on Twitter
I don’t in any way mean that the things I wish someone had are not important and we should just not have expectations. NO! People should communicate definitely. And men should communicate more to their women. Like my roomie (winks at Zoë) put it, “your spouse should be your best friend.” But what I mean is, if they don’t gat it they don’t gat it! Is you is or is you ain’t? Hahahahaha. That sounds so hopeless, right? I do believe that people can change when they put effort. Perhaps the couples who have been married for long can swoosh in right now and tell us that their partner, who was Mr. Flight Mode, had a major transformation and now even sends ravens when the texts aren’t being replied to quick enough. Mayne! That would be beautiful.
Sigh.
So if we are to love, we must love the way the person is right now. Hoping that they may one day change? Yes. But knowing this is all you might have because change is hard.
I know that transformation happens through the Word (inserts Romans verse) with the help of the Holy Spirit… but only He can change people and you can’t sit around hoping to also be a missionary in your relationship.
I love music because it expresses how I feel but don’t have the words for. . . So right here I insert lyrics of my current favourite song:
Mali Music. I Will. The Transition of Mali
Had to see it to believe it
So I could let the pain sink in
Never thought I’d be on the outside
Looking back over our lives
Never thought we would end like this
And now I’m trying to find a way to vent
But it really ain’t the time or place, oh yeah
So I congratulate you love
I’m glad you found your love
And if I could walk away
I will, if I can, yeah
It’s surreal, why
Watching it all unfold, oh yeah
Didn’t expect to be this close
Feels like a funeral
Walk away I will, if I can
(Ooh, ooh) Eh-eh if I can
Pardon the emotionfulness and the skills of a first time blogger. Love me. Even though I may not change (winks).
Wezi
